Monday, April 18, 2011

Have You Heard the One About Sexual Favors and the Bank Teller?

Alright so, sadly this isn't a joke. Well it is, but not the kind of joke that has a punch line and everyone is like "Bahahahahaha!! That's so funny!" NO. WRONG! Soooo not that kind of joke! Here it goes.
I have these two friends, Emily and Joe, and they have these three awesome kiddos, Jake, Kory, and Rae. Often I watch these kiddos for Emmers and Joseph because I love them, and their kids are super awesome! So one day, Em the Fantastical, gives me a check and giggles as she is writing this....I don't understand. She hands me the check, and I just fold it because I think it is rude to flaunt money in public. Cause what if someone next to you is super poor and you're flaunting money like, "Oh yeah I'm THIS kind of awesome to have all this money! Go me!" Rude right? Right. So, anywho...I look at it later and in the memo line, staring at me like that creeper in the McDonald's drive through clearly says, "for sexual favors." I blushed. Cherry.Red. There I was, the possessor of a check with the words "sexual favors" written on it, signed by the wife of the man whose name is on the check. Wow, that makes me look super scandalous.
I HAD to deposit the check because I had just sent my car payment and I was poorer than dirt. Not even dirt, cause even dirt has nutrients and such.. I was as poor as....sand? Yup sand! I reluctantly drive to the drive through of the bank and avoid eye contact with the teller as I push the check and a deposit slip towards her. She is taking forever, and so I HAVE to look up. There she is...staring at me with wide eyes and a flushed face. I look away, slightly abashed.
I will admit that it was pretty funny, but it's hard to take that to the bank. I REALLY don't want to be arrested for prostitution ya know? That would just throw a huge kink in my life. Not to mention I don't think the Bishop would renew by temple recommend. Just sayin'.
So, to continue with the story. This last weekend I watched Em and Joe's kids again. They were the thanks for askin! However, as I was heading out the door, Joe writes me a check and hands it to me with a huge mischievous grin on his face. There, again, on the memo line is "sexual favors." AGAIN. REALLY?? I laughed until I realized that the same teller was at the bank. I chickened out and couldn't go through the line. I have yet to deposit this check because for two weeks in a row I have been compensated by Emily and Joe W. for "sexual favors" aka babysitting. And to top it off, this week was signed by Joe. Awkward. Really really. This is causing a serious spike in my blood pressure.

I'm Just Sayin'

p.s. Em if you are reading are probably laughing your head off because you think you are super funny. You, my dear friend, may be suffering from bungholiosis. Oh yeah. I went there! Also, if I get thrown in jail for prostitution you are SOOO bailing me out!

I'm Just Sayin'

1 comment:

  1. Oh Courtney, that is too funny! Love this story! Just so ya know, they guy that shoes our horses for us is Jocko's cousin and Jocko always writes out the check to "Jeremy's Pimp Service" and in the memo line he writes "sexual favors!" So this story you have really cracked me up! LOL
    I can't imagine what the bank tellers think when they get Jeremy's checks! Don't be ashamed, deposit the check.. I bet most of the time they don't even look at the memo! :)
    Love you and miss your face!